Uh, Yeah, I Have A Blog

Heh

2008-06-22T20:34:49Z

Scene: Sunday afternoon, my parents' house. My mom is looking for an address.
Mom: It would be terrible to send a sympathy card to the wrong place. It's not like a birthday card. People might take it the wrong way.
Me: As in "my sympathies in advance for the members of your family I am about to kill"?
Mom: Yes, it could be taken as a threat. And I have to put my name on it.

Darkside

2008-06-17T20:28:33Z

My latest library book is Darkside by Tom Becker, which I picked up just because the premise is cool. It's about a secret Dark Side of London, populated by vampires, werewolves and various other evil types and ruled by Jack the Ripper's descendents. The plot gets off to a slow start, has some kidnappings and stuff, and clearly there are going to be several sequals because much is unexplained. I don't find that I really care, but I might read on because, Dude, parallel evil London with a Subway.

But the coolest thing? The cover glows in the dark. I turned the lights out last night and saw this glowing square and thought "What the Hell is that?" And it was the book. I may have to examine all my library books in a darkened room from this point on.

And, on a completley unrelated note, apparently golf carts are very dangerous. Be careful out there, kids.

On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen

2008-05-28T19:14:01Z

This is a big thick book by Harlod McGee, all about food. And y'all know how I feel about food - it's like Chemistry only it smells better. I've been flipping through it for the past few days reading about gluten and caffeine. There are molecular diagrams, which is deeply awesome. Also, there are black and white pictures of grains and meat which only supports my theory that everything looks gross if you zoom in close enough.

I have always thought it would be cool to have a food chemistry/recipe book. I've never actually seen one, but I'd love a book that went something like, "This is sucrose. And here's how to make fudge. Here's some thoughts about capsaicin. And now a recipe for chili." If you ever see such a book, you know when my birthday is.

From the department of actual cooking, I made some chocolate spicd pound cake the other day. And I have grand plans to make white chocolate tea cake. I can't decide if it will be amazing or kind of gross.

I Know People Mean Well....

2008-05-23T23:36:36Z

But I kind of hate invitations that are addressed to me & guest. I always feel like such a dork replying "Yeah I'll be there. By myself." And then I feel bad for unbalancing the seating arrangements.

Missing In Action No More

2008-05-16T17:32:44Z

Yeah, I'm not around online much these days on account of I'm back at my parents' and any uncomplimentary remarks I may have made about their computer are entirely justified.

Anyway, I'm doing the job hunting thing, which sucks immensely. (I had an interview this morning. Cross your fingers....)

Also, I have a book from the library with 150 recipes for various kinds of chocolate cake. Mmmmmmm......Cake anyone?

Two More Weeks!

2008-04-14T15:49:25Z

Kids, I am counting the days. St. Catharines is slowly driving me crazy. (I actually kinda miss living at home, which I'm sure is a sign of impending mental collapse.)

And it's kinda looking like I won't be sleeping much till next Friday.....

Notice From the Department of Avoiding Needless Drama

2008-04-01T02:04:01Z

If you don't want people to read stuff, for the love of God don't post it on the internet.

Mystery of the Day

2008-03-23T00:40:16Z

I'm all for eating vegetables, but what would you do with an entire shopping cart of broccoli?

Miscellany

2008-03-12T23:41:44Z

In theory, I am a believer in public transit. But when getting home involves waiting 55 minutes to catch a bus with a girl who talks about her orthodontia while sticking her fingers in her mouth, I start dreaming about cars.

Being a cold hearted person in possession of a good pair of gloves, I am fond of the cold. The sky is never so blue as on really cold days. I am working my way through Absolute Zero and the Quest for Cold by Tom Shachtman, which is interesting, although it is almost as much about heat as cold. Incidentally, I wish I had a thermometer by my window. I know the internet will tell you how cold it is, but it's just not the same.

Yesterday I got to the top of a wall that had defeated me several times. (Like at a climbing gym, not like sneaking into the neighbour's yard.) I am inordinately proud of myself.

I am wholeheartedly sick of school. Is it April yet?

Now, This Sounds Oddly Familiar

2008-03-07T02:31:00Z

Dear Sir,
I am writing to inquire further on the matter we discussed earlier this year. I'm in my Business Letter Writing Class, which is taught by a flat-footed man so sad and unaware that I am certain he will give me an A on this assignment without reading anything but the first sentence of every paragraph. I could say anything here at all. For instance: A "baticeer" is a person who trains bats. I learned that in a poem I watched you read.

From the Beatrice Letters by Lemony Snicket. Have I mentioned lately how I love Lemony Snicket?

Ah, Wintertime

2008-02-26T22:36:40Z

I'm in Ottawa. There's actually snow here. Lots of snow. It is glorious.

Spam Folder Fun

2008-02-22T03:08:21Z

When I want to create the illusion of productivity I do things like empty my spam folder. And I find the names endlessly amusing. Some highlights of today's crop:
Floyd Carroll
Queen Romo
Cinnamon Nembhard
Matilda Dillard
Antwan Banks
Mantaj Mocha
Jebediah Heeralal
Leonel Moon
Fabrican Merrifield

I wonder if this is how novelists name their characters?

In Defense of Food

2008-02-20T23:11:31Z

Oftentimes when I go to the supermarket I find myself wandering around, looking at things thinking Are you serious? That's food? Like the time I went looking for aluminum pie plates and discovered they have pie plates with the bottom crust already in it. I'm still not over that one. And why is there even such a thing as artificial cheese?

Well, Mickael Pollan figures that's not really food. The highly processed stuff, made sugar and simple carbs and additives even I can't pronounce,* that's a food product. "Eat food," he tells us. "Not too much. Mostly plants." And stop obsessing over diet advice. Which meshes pretty well with my personal food philosphy:
Don't eat things if you don't know what they are
Don't eat things that don't rot (if mould can't live on it you probably can't either)
Don't eat so many carbs that are white (white flour, white rice, white sugar...)
Eat things that are coloured (artificial colours don't count, naturally)
Eat every day
If you're going to eat junk food, go for the real stuff (low fat cookies just shouldn't exist)
Don't eat trans fats (also just shouldn't exist)

It's so relaxing reading books that tell you you're right. Although reading about the evils of processed food kind of makes me crave some Oreos and Doritos.....All things in moderation.

*And I have some experience wrapping my tongue around chemical names.

It's All About the Half Price Cinnamon Hearts

2008-02-16T02:12:54Z

Seems every Valentine's Day some well meaning soul tries to sympathize with me over my single state, which always has me blinking in surprise, even though I know it's coming.

I figure having a significant other* is kind of like having a tail. Some critters would be lost without thiers and start falling out of trees or whatever. Me, I wouldn't know what to do with a tail. It would throw me off balance and I would surely get it caught in a door in very short order.

To each their own. Have a cinnamon heart.

*Have I ever mentioned how I loathe the term "significant other"? It's so clunky and inelegant. And also vaguely insulting to everyone you're not sleeping with.

Hooray For TDG!

2008-02-09T19:10:04Z

There is some oxidizing compressed gas parked in front of my house.

The Owl Service

2008-01-29T02:04:10Z

Having read Harry Potter, my first thought is that an owl service is some sort of postal service. But Alan Garner's The Owl Service has an owl dinner service (like, plates) that some kids find in the attic of a Welsh country house. Plates with an owl pattern and magical powers. I very much liked the first three quarters or so. There's a lovely subtle creepiness and the kind of tension when people are friends but not really. Then it all falls apart into a mess of personal angst and not entirely making sense. The fuck? Why owls? I still don't get it.

In other news, I have finally decided what I want to do with my life. What kind of salary do you suppose I could make knitting and listening to the New Pornographers?

I Love My House

2008-01-18T03:41:27Z

Every time my housemate turns the vacuum on the lights flicker.....

I Miss Christmas

2008-01-09T01:08:16Z

I cut across the parking lot at the mall today and the spot where they sold Christmas trees still smells like pine needles.

In other news, there is no snow here. I was deeply freaked out when I got off the bus Sunday night.

Windows 98. That Takes Me Back.....

2007-12-28T15:16:57Z

I am presently at my parents' house for the holidays. While they have many fancy things like grapefruit spoons and several electric drills, they also have a ten year old computer that is decidedly unco-operative. This does not, naturally, inspire a lot of internet time.

But I am here now. In the meantime, I have read 3.5 books, which brings my total to 99.5. So I am totally on the pace to hit 100. Just another 150 pages or so. Sweet.

I'm trying to think of some fun resolutions for 2008 now.....

Counting Down

2007-12-13T02:55:10Z

When I was about 6 I used to count the days to Christmas. Then, after about 20 minutes I'd count them again and it would blow my mind that after all that time it wasn't any closer. Now I'm totally doing it again. I mean, this morning seems like it must have been at least a couple of days ago. And yet my calendar is stubbornly insisting otherwise. I'm so excited to go home you'd think I'd never been there before. Is it Friday now?

In other news, book 96 is The Beekeeper's Pupil by Sara George. It has a lot of bees and not a great deal of plot but I have an unwholesome interest in old timey science. If you have never given much thought to how bees have sex or start a swarm, you will after reading this book. Also you may start hallucinating that bits of fluff are actually bees.

Keeping Busy

2007-12-09T18:01:28Z

I have 6 exams this week.

And because reading novels and knitting are clearly the best use of my time:
Book 94: The Bird Artist by Howard Norman (one of those books where I just don't like anyone in it.)
Book 95: Survivor by CHuck Palahniuk (funny. And disturbing)
I started another cabled sweater. Y'all are lucky I don't have a camera or I would post nothing but pictures of cables. Seriously, I just think they're so cool.

And now, down to work. For serious.

Mmmmm.......Candy

2007-12-02T21:54:12Z

I was in Chapters today (on the way to the grocery store, so I was running errands, not idly cruising the shops.) I happened upon this textbook on candy making. Seriously, it's a textbook: it costs 80 dollars, weighs almost as much as me and has graphs. And I want it. Having pretty much mastered the baking thing, I find myself thinking a lot about candy. Kids, there will definately be fudge this Christmas. And it will turn out, too.

In other news, you know I should be doing work if I'm skulking around the internet filling out quizzes.
95%ALCOHOLIC
Drinks, anyone?

Tantalize

2007-12-02T00:32:21Z

Tantalize is a good word and I should use it more often. It is also a book by Cynthia Leitich Smith about vampires and italian food. And werewolves. Actually, werepeople in general. A werearmadillo makes an appearance. It's good times. Although part of the end is kind of obvious, there was a couple of things that surprised me. I love a book that has something surprising in it.

Now, here's a question: Would you order chilled baby squirrel for dessert? How about if it was simmered in orange brandy and bathed in honey cream sauce?

Incidentally, this is book 93. I was keeping count in my agenda until I lost it. I was trying to write in my planner instead of on scraps of paper that I will lose. Somehow I don't feel any farther ahead.

Notes From Toronto

2007-11-25T23:08:46Z

I didn't know there were so many cars in the world as there were on the QEW Friday night. If I were ever called upon to drive in Toronto during rush hour, I'd be hard pressed not to pull over and cry. The bus driver didn't look far from a meltdown and he's a professional.

I got to ride the subway. My delight over this makes me feel almost simpleminded.

Everything's decked out for Christmas, Santa seated in the mall taking requests, the whole deal. Dude, Christmas is still the 25th, right? It hasn't been moved forward or anything?

Since I moved to Niagara I've been trying to develop more of an appreciation for wine - I'm the kind of person who can tell white wine from red wine and that's about it. But I now realize the best kind of wine is the kind that's free.

When I got back I found a couple of subway tokens I'd forgotten about in my pocket. So I'll have to go back and use them.

My friends are delightful people. (I knew that before, but actually seeing them reminded me. It's been a while.)

A Certain Slant of Light

2007-11-23T03:34:27Z

Dude, ghosts are creepy. I don't care how innocuous and friendly they are, it's inherently creepy to think that someone dead and invisible could be reading over my shoulder. (I totally just turned around to check. Nothing I could see.) This book starts off with a ghost in an English class who gets spotted by a boy who shouldn't be able to see her. Except he's not really a boy - he's a ghost who hijacked a body, which is still more creepy. And it goes on from there. (I don't mean creepy in a bad way, incidentally. I like creepy if you can pull it off.)

There is also more sex than you might expect in a book about dead people. And that's creepy, naturally. Really, really creepy.

It also reminded me of a time back in elementary school when I read books about people who swapped identities through magical mishaps and other freakish circumstances and I wrote a few little notes to anyone who might somehow end up in my life. Things like Your phone number is ... and This is how you get to school. Because, you know, I'm a nice person and I like to help out. And also I didn't want strangers fucking up my life any more than necessary.